grantdickins.co.uk Me me me me me

So it’s been a while and alot of shit has happened.

But before I go on, I’d like to point something out.
According to the stats for my site, as a general summary on the dashboard of the admin side of things, the top searches which link to my site are:

• swollen bruised ankle bone

• impossible dick

• ankle ligaments bruised

Now, the ankle related searches I understand. I did have a decent post regarding the fucked up ankle i managed to recieve one evening.
But… “Impossible Dick” !? Fuck knows…

So back to the big small update:

Whats changed? Well one of the reasons i’ve not been able to update the site, apart from generally being bored of the net, was the fact I didn’t have internet for a while. This lack of pr0n was because I was moving house… Read More…

Posted under Life, Site

The Website is Down

Funny site showing a video of an independant web admin and a fun day for him.
I wish this could be how I worked.

Posted under Funny

Courtesy of John George, Kal and Cap Gemini’s stationary budget.

Posted under Funny, Work

[Edit] Originally a page made for one person, but he’s cried so much, I’m changing it to a mass targeted exhibition. [/edit]

Although it says daily, it really depends how much time I have at work.
And as these are created at work, I only have access to basic tools to create these. Hence why they look badly photoshopped… well, to be correct, Gimped!
I have a portable version of The Gimp (GNU Image Manipulation Program) which I’m not very accustomed to using. But there would be many questions asked if I had a portable copy of Photoshop that I put on USB Pen or the work PC’s…

So, enjoy…   Mockups!

Posted under Site

Think you can multitask? Try this: while sitting on a chair, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Then, while doing that, draw the number 6 with your right hand. You can’t help it: your foot will change direction or you’ll fcuk up your 6.

Similarly: move your right leg in anti-clockwise circles and simultaneously draw the number 8 with your right hand.

Another tricky thing to do: simultaneously rotate the index fingers of both hands clockwise. Do it slowly at first, but then pick up speed. Try to go faster and faster, and pretty soon your two fingers will be going in opposite directions! weeeee!

Posted under Geek

So, on the 25th June, I eventually got my birthday present from my friends.
NB: My birthday was on 31st May!
They had given it to my brother in April so they i’d get it in time…but noooo! The ass had it sitting in his hallway for him to take to mine when he got the chance. And plenty chance he had too. He’s just so frikken unorganised socially to take it round to mine.

Nevermind, I got it at least - And its frikken awesome!!!
Its a big set of Magnastix or Magnetix or whatever you wanna call it. Basically its rods and balls that stick together with magnets and you can make whatever the hell you want. I appear to be quite interested in organic shapes.
Its quite a desk toy. I sit and play with it on breaks at work. No funny looks yet

ADDITIONAL: My bestest present from my lovely was a personalised leather wallet. I take it everywhere with me, even though there’s nothing but moths in it! lol

Other news, my lovely has left me for a week. On Sunday she took off to Englanshire to stay with a friend (also ex-colleague) whilst she took on a weeks intensive driving course.
May I just say here, BEST OF LUCK BABY!
But I miss her heaps. I’ve temporarily moved into her flat to look after her kittens when shes gone.
I have to get up at stupid o’clock to feed them. Then i climb back into bed for another hour and a bit till i get up, have a shower and get cleaned up for work. And tonight I’ll be taking my bike up so i get to lie in longer as getting to work will be quicker (All down hill. W00t!)

Its going to be a difficult week, but I’d do anything for her. She’s my lovely!

I also just spent £80 on food last night. Which should last me a fair wee while, as long as her bro doesn’t eat any of it. Its MINE! GRRRR   hehe

Other than that… working and gyming away. Gym is going well. Think i’ve managed to get a bit more definition to my stomach and arms and chest. My belly aint quite as rounded…but still fatty! I’ll get there tho.

Posted under Life

TITLE: The Onion Movie
YEAR: 2008
GENRE: Comedy
RELEASE DATE: 3rd June 2008 (USA)
DIRECTOR: Tom Kuntz, Mike Maguire
iMDB URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0392878/

Plot: Satirical interpretations of world events and curious human behavior…

I downloaded rented(?) this film the other day. Thought, “hmmm might be good…”. Wasn’t fussed about watching it straight away. So Monday night, chilling, playing WoW and thought [I] might as well watch a film at same time (Dual monitors, right! :D)

So I fire it up, and instantly presented with cheesey news broadcast music and various newspaper headlines spiraling onto the screen. All with humourous titles from, “World’s Largest Metaphor Hits Ice-Berg” referring to the Titanic (duh!), to a picture of a group of scientists with the title, “Female Orgasm Discovered”.

The film is based around a News programme. 90 Minutes of news reports generally taking the piss out of everything; Stereotypes, Media, Politics, Peoples hobbies and interests, and pushing political correctness to the limits without crippling the comedy.

My favourite sketch from the show, a guy goes to upgrade his PC for the “new” Bates 4000 to find out when he gets home, the Bates 5000 is just out. He returns the PC to hear on the radio the 6000 is out. Back to the store, buys 6000 when a delivery guy is taking away left over 6000’s cos the 7000’s are out. Cut to Gill Bates (CEO) office where he is talking on the phone about the Bates9000 PC and gets a visitor… a brilliant insite to how new pc’s are obsolete within days. Hehe!

Of course, if you’ve never heard of The Onion before now (Like me) have a look at this promo video:

[ The Onion: Promo ]

Posted under Funny, Movies

So I guess I better stick un update as to whats been happening.

Holiday was great. Got a tan. Hotel was a bit pish. Lots of cockroaches and ants. But free drink and food compensated for that fine.

Then on 31st was my birthday. [Happy 23'd to me] and also my mates Stag party in Aberdeen.
We went go-karting in the afternoon. Who’d have thought you could sweat so much whilst sitting down!
Jimmy Chungs buffett for dinner…got my moneys worth for sure!
Then various pubs after that and ended up in Krystals - a titty bar in Aberdeen, formally known as Angels I believe. And my brother kindly put money down for me to get a private dance. 1st one ever…WOW! frikken awesome!
Simon, the stag, had about 8 private dances and 1 show dance on the main stage with two of the girls! LOL!

And of course, the best news yet…

I’M NOT SINGLE!

After many many months fighting to win her heart I finally did it. You may have heard her name mentioned on here before. You’ve certainly seen her alias. She’s my Lovely!

All I can say is OH MY GOD!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted under Life

Last Saturday, 3/5/08, was the dedicated TDB LAN party. If you’ve never heard of a LAN Party, its basically a group of folks who get together with their PC’s and network them in a hall and play games, share files, drink beer and eat pizza [or in Saturday's case, Subway and kabab]

TDB is the clan the LAN Party is run by. Lead members being: Elric, Fizz, Foo, Oli and a few others. And as of Saturday I am half a member. My 1st task was a game-off with another potential for TDB. Normally its a case of I chose a game, and the clan choose an opponent. Or I choose my opponent and they choose the game.
However as there were two tryouts, Myself and Jojo - They decided we’d have a deathmatch and they choose the game.
The game? …Soldat!
Never heard of Soldat? Think of Worms. Then think real time and real weapons and physics but still 2D.
20min game with a 30kill fraglimit. To start off it was difficult since I hadn’t played the game since its early days back when I was a Liero fanatic. And Jojo hadn’t played before ever I think. Either way, neither of us knew the keys or maps or anything. Somehow I managed to loose my weapon at the start and chose my secondary which was a chainsaw. So untill I figured out my keys, I was running around trying not to get shot at untill I got the chainsaw out and cut him up twice!
After that I got killed and got my gun back and we tore shreds out of each other as best we could.
In the end, although very close, I pulled ahead and with my Spas Shotgun, blew jojo to pieces just as the timer hit 20min.

A Bloody intense fight requiring quick reactions and deep concentration. Both of us were shaking with the adrenalin and my hand had actually cramped up a bit on the WASD keys. Lol!

But various other games were played, namely Unreal Tournament 3, Crysis, COD4 and Track Mania United Forever (*the free one*)  [Track mania being another game where I kick ass ]

Anyways, as for the holiday - I’m trying to make this a quick post…

Read More…

Posted under Games, Geek, Life

Fed up with all the junk mail your get through your letter box?

Don’t just tear it up and grumble to yourself. Thats not going to do anything is it?

Instead, be nice to them. After all, they’re just trying to earn a little money. Its not a crime. Send them something back as a little token of appreciation. Send them a brick!

[Taken from Office of Strategic Influence]

Whether this works in the UK, I don’t know. But I investigating…

Posted under Funny, Life